This Post comes 13 Years too Late

Please bear with me on this post because frankly, it's 3:00 in the morning, and sleeping is the furthest thought from my mind right now. What caused my insomnia? If I told you Captain Planet and the Planeteers, would you believe me? Well, partially. Do you remember that cartoon from the early 90's? I know a couple of residents at LRH who will make me feel really old by telling me they were 2 or 3 when it came out in 1990.

*Shudder*

Even then, it was in syndication for the longest time... and now, my memories come back to haunt me. I can deal with the love interest between Linka and Wheeler. I enjoyed how Gi and Kwame were always so gung-ho and goal oriented. My nightmares revolve around the fifth Planeteer... and his USELESS power.

Ma-Ti. As the image from Wikipedia says, he's the youngest Planeteer who knows a load about the Rainforest. This means that he's good for maybe 2 episodes.

Actually, I have no problem with Ma-Ti, just his power and the justification for such. Wheeler gets to Burn things! Linka can hit you with a gale force gust of wind! Kwamee can stone you! Gi could lead you to a watery grave!!!

What is Ma-Ti going to do? Make you feel bad?

This is why Gaia didn't give me his ring. I would have definitely made the show a lot more interesting. Actually, don't you think it's bad giving a pre-pubescent kid this power? What happens when Ma-Ti has his first crush?

That would have made the show a lot more interesting. Now don't get me wrong, I love the message Captain Planet sends to the kids... and the world! Recycle! Make the world a greener place to live! Drive Geo-Metro's! Hey... wait...

The Power of Heart. I would have HATED to be in that boardroom while they were sitting down discussing the powers of the Planeteers: Let's see how it would go:

BOSS: Okay team, let's hear it, what should we do for these "magic eco-rings?"
Guy 1: We need the elementals! Earth, Wind, Fire, Water!
Guy 2: Yeah That sounds good, but we need a 5th one. That Voltron has the market cornered on 5 people making a super hero.
Guy 3: Well... what should the 5th power be?
---Silence----
BOSS: How about the power of Heart!
Guy 1,2,3: YES! You're a genius, sir!
BOSS: Thank you, you may keep your jobs.

You gotta be kidding me.

Not to make the kid even more lonely, they gave him a blinkin' monkey! My folks are from South America, they didn't have a monkey following them around. I call shenanigans. This is a travesty.

Well, this post took me 30 minutes to write, and frankly... I think it was worth it.

No Clip of the Day Post - I want you to think about this.

Give me a real use for Ma-Ti's power... I'll dedicate my next blog to the person who does that.

Good night/morning.